Turn the Page

My, Oh, MY..... how things have changed!!! I find myself far removed from the person I once was and going through a complete metamorphosis in my life. It amazes me the changes that have occurred. I have gone through many things lately, and most of it has been difficult, to say the least. I am going through a divorce and my life with the Lord is being redirected to a place where I am more like the sould he has created. I have often sat and wondered if sometimes we go through life effecting people as we go, even in marriage, is marriage a ministry, where a person gets a chance to be what they should be in Christ, with their spouse to lead and guide them along the way, and what if they refuse..... what if a man cannot be a leader, what if he does not desire to seek God, his gloy, his promises.... what if.... I have seen many examples in the Bible of things like this occuring, but certainly not in marriage. So where does that leave me??? Well, I realize that while I may have been in the will of God in my previous marriage, it may not have been the "perfect" will of God, it may not have been his plan. I have seen far too many coincidences in the last few months to even question that for a moment. It has occurred to me, that God makes the best of things and knows our hearts even when we are outside of his will and uses us accordingly. This is something I already knew, but it seems to have a drastic impact on my life over the past few years. When you pray a simple prayer, Lord is this what you had planned, and if not, show me your plan, and make it come to pass.... how amazing the answer can be. I said that simple little prayer, and within a week, my life turned upside down, wrong side out, and was shaken beyond my own comprehension..... but..... since then, I see promises fulfilled, and prayers answered that I had spoken many years ago..> Thoughts that I shared only with God, secret wishes and desires that I thought would never be realized, my hearts desires, I did not realize how much I had settled for in life until recently. It did not occur to me that I had been sacrifising who I truly am to make someone else happy. Being true to yourself is very much being true to God and who he created you to be. And it is in that realization and in the trust and surrender that you will find your hearts desire, and all of those secret little wishes, private prayers and desires that only he knows about...... well, it's never too late. You just have to decide what really matters to you, for me...... well, it was love...... (more on that later) When you dig down deep and decide what you want more than anything else in this world.... you find yourself, and his desires for you.... they become your own. When you break down to the very core of your being, then you will find what you have been looking for. I prayed another prayer.... I asked God to please show me his love, and send me a love that would closely match the love he had for me..... what an amazingly simple prayer, and what an overwhelmingly glorious response I have received. God is amazing, you just have to let him be God. Everyday is different now, every moment is a new beginning in my life, with new hope, and a new horizon that I have never explored..... it was a path I should have found long ago, but ran from because of fear. My personal life is being transformed in the most amazing way. So for me, it's time to turn the page, and write a new story, develop a new plan, and rest in the love that God has shown me, through his own mighty ways, and many other ways as well....

I have so much more to say, but i fear the clock is ticking on my time tonight.....