Now I'm getting a little Antsy

Okay, let's get rid of some of the sugar coating, shall we....

I have a knack, a real knack for going through peoples lives at about the same speed that some men change underwear. How can people suck you dry and milk all the inspiration from you and then leave in your greatest time of need. I have news for them. GOD DOES NOT TELL YOU TO ABANDON YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if there is anyone out there who has done this to anyone, maybe you should take a closer look. A lot of my time has been wasted wondering why people walk away from me. Yes, sometimes, I have made mistakes, but when my friends make mistakes I don't completely forget about them. I still think about them even though they have no interest in speaking to me. How can you convince yourself that God tells you to leave your friends and forget about them, leaving them with noone to talk to and noone to hear what they have to say. It is unrealistic.

Therefore, I have difficulty believing in friendship anymore. These kinds of things have happened to me a lot. I now have a problem with forgiveness. I've done my part and gone to those who have hurt me and told them how I feel, the burden is off of my hands, but feeling of ill will have not subsided in over a year. I'm a bit tortured and it's driving me up the wall. It some ways I'm still in the same place I used to be, still feeling some of the same things.

So, if you are a fair weather friend, remember this blog, and care about someone other than yourself. If you are a Christian, please pray for me, my heart has been broken many times, and I long and pray for healing but it never seems to come. It kinda makes it difficult to serve the Lord when his servants harm and suck the life out of eachother. That is not true christianity, it is not how we are meant to be.